New Year’s Resolution: A goal that you propose and then forget the next day. – Urban Dictionary
I’m painfully aware that we’re already 10 days into January, so any discussion of New Year’s Resolutions is stale, old, and somewhat irrelevant.
A better word for this column would be “procrastinator,” which is a perfect fit for people like me who haven’t gotten around to making one of those annual promises aimed at self improvement.
Easily the most common resolution is the one to lose weight, if I can believe all the television advertisements hawking exercise machines and fat dissolving diets.
But sadly, most of us no longer make New Year’s Resolutions, much less keep them. We can’t stand the disappointment.
Let’s say your resolution for 2018 is to “eat healthier.” I guess that means I’ll have to throw out all of the uneaten fudge, macaroons, caramels and divinity that are still on the kitchen counter. What a waste.
A better way to succeed – or so the experts advise – is to make your resolution measurable. Instead of saying you want to lose weight, be specific and set a goal of say 10 pounds, if that is your objective. Heck, make it 20 or 50 pounds, something totally unrealistic. And then keep a chart as a way to track your failure.
Just kidding. But it is easy to get discouraged about resolutions, or the fact that more than half of all Americans do not or rarely make them at all. However, I am absolutely uplifted by the resolutions I read in various weekly newspapers, written by third- and fourth-graders. If you sometimes worry about the country’s future, take a peek at these:
— “I’m going to keep listening more so I won’t get in trouble.”
— “I will try to not sass my parents.”
— “My New Year’s resolution is to do my homework on time.”
— “My goals are to keep my room clean . . . and start picking up my stuff.”
— “Be nice to my family members.”
— “Help old people who need help.”
— “Be kind to my brothers and sisters.”
— “Raise my grades to an A.”
— “Try new things, be nice to everybody, and say thank you more often.”
— “Not litter the world and recycle every day.”
And then there’s this, one of my favorites of the hundreds I read:
— “I’m not very good at rabbit hunting. My goal is to aim better at the rabbit.”
If our children can keep or make progress on these resolutions, our country will be OK.
Jan. 10, 2018